July 14, 2018 my first daughter got married and I became a mother-in-law. Something I've been nervous about almost my whole life because of the bad stigma society gives it. I don't want to be the person that someone hates being around or makes jokes about. Being a mother is all I've every wanted in life, so having my children marry someone that doesn't like me might break my heart. I feel extremely blessed because all I can say is that so far, it has been the best experience ever.
I told my husband it is amazing to me how when my son-in-law married my daughter, I had an instant love for him, just as if he were my own son. In the article, Creating Healthy Ties With In-laws and Extended Families it says, "Children-in-law will bring new perspectives into the family, and the family can learn from these differences and be complemented by them". As this is our first added member to our family, I have loved watching him become part of our family. I have loved how he has embraced our loudness and become part of the crew. His family is very different from ours. He is from a family of two children and his parents are now empty-nesters. Our family has seven children, and my daughter, Isabel, was the first to leave home. We still have a lot of chaos in our lives and instead of being turned off by it, he joins in the fun.
The most interesting thing about my son-in-law is he is not someone I would've picked for my daughter. In fact I was a bit surprised even when she told me about him. She had mentioned that he had a tattoo, didn't serve a mission for the church, and she wasn't sure if he was active. Instead of automatically casting judgment on his description and encouraging her to not date him, I told her that now was the time she had to start making her own choices. Her dad and I had done our job of teaching her about the gospel of Jesus Christ and she needed to decide for herself what she wanted out of life. They ended up going out on a date and nine months later were married in the St. George Temple. "Parents should find numerous ways to give messages that they trust the child's judgment and see him or her fully capable of building a good marriage".
When they were married, the message shared during their ceremony was a message of creating their own family. They were no longer a part of the Larson family or the Wilson family, they were the Alex and Isabel family. It has been a wonderful experience to watch them create their own family. Alex is Isabel's biggest cheerleader in life, and I love watching him love her. Our family has found our place in helping them develop their own identity as a couple but at the same time have enjoyed welcoming him into our extended family unit. "Strong marriages are built by what couples choose to do once they are married and by what parents and siblings on both sides do to help support them".
